The Proper Way to Prepare Brown Sugar Toast

August 23, 2012

You see, my dear Sister thinks I’m in the wrong when I prepare Brown Sugar Toast the way I do. Little does Molly know, she’s missing out on a world of deliciousness each time she turns her nose up at my brilliant breakfast bread. I am an admitted Idiot, but I know what I’m talking about when I talk about Brown Sugar Toast. I made some this morning for breakfast and it rocked my world (as it always does).

Anyway, there I was, minding my own business, spreading butter on my bread (un-toasted at this point) when Molly waltzed into the kitchen and claimed (as she always does) that I was improperly making Brown Sugar Toast. What a chump. I shook my head, smiling, and continued to butter my bread.

The way Molly thinks that Brown Sugar Toast should be prepared is this…

1.) Toast the bread. (Mistake number one…)

2.) Spread butter on the toasted bread. (Still way off base, but she’s getting closer.)

3.) Sprinkle brown sugar on top of the buttered toast. (Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong!)

4.) Enjoy! (How could anyone enjoy this Brown Sugar Toast that has been so completely and utterly butchered!)

Molly has the basic idea down, but she’s got the steps in the wrong order. And that’s throwing everything off. I know the real way to make Brown Sugar Toast and I can support all my reasons for doing what I do.

This is how you prepare really good Brown Sugar Toast…

1.) Butter that slice o’ bread. (Bam, right off the bat. Get some butter on that baby. Don’t play around, slather it on there. Just got the butter out of the fridge? You’re done for. Cold butter will not spread on soft bread! I learned that one the hard way. You’ve gotta use butter that’s been out for an hour or so (in a butter dish, of course). That’s the way to go. Get a nice, thick cream on top of that soon-to-be toast!)

2.) Get your brown sugar and coat the butter in sweet, sweet crystals. (See where I’m going with this? Now that we’ve got butter and brown sugar packed on top of that nice, soft piece of bread, you’re ready to make Brown Sugar Toast.)

3.) Now you toast it. (That’s right. Now you toast that son of a flour sack. Make that soft bread into Brown Sugar Toast. The only problem is that this kind of Brown Sugar Toast can only be done with a toaster oven. A regular toaster won’t quite do. You could always turn it on its side. Or use the oven? I mean, anything for Brown Sugar Toast, right? It’s worth it. Just wait.)

4.) Enjoy! (As if there’s any way you couldn’t.)

The benefit of making Brown Sugar Toast my way is that the brown sugar and butter are now given a real fighting chance at being melted together. You see where I’m going with this? When you toast the bread after everything is on there, the brown sugar melts and caramelizes and the butter seeps into the crunchy toast. The result of this phenomenon is a sweet ‘n salty candy coating on top of buttery bread. Can you go wrong with that? It’s genius.

Brown Sugar Toast is what I like to call a Simple Pleasure. Life is full of Simple Pleasures…if you’re willing to appreciate them. If you’re hard to please, a Simple Pleasure will probably never appeal to you. Because really anything can be a Simple Pleasure as long as you consider it that. Does that make sense? As long as you enjoy it,why not treat yourself to it? Life can be hard sometimes, we all know that. But a Simple Pleasure like Brown Sugar Toast is easy.

In the end, does it matter how you prepare your Brown Sugar Toast? Not really. Not as long as you enjoy your Simple Pleasure.

-Brian Wiegand (An Idiot, A Superman in training)

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One Response to “The Proper Way to Prepare Brown Sugar Toast”

  1. Elise Irminger Says:

    I googled this exact thing and yours was the only helpful article on the subject. Thank you! 😀


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