Ah, Tubing!

March 9, 2013

Ah, Tubing!

The other day, Coach Hawkins gave us this assignment in AP Lit where we had to write a vignette (essentially a short, short story) and present it to the class. As I was writing mine, I realized it sounded a lot like a blog post. So, I figured I might as well post it. Why not, right?

Let’s jump right into it…

“Are you ready?” Kelcey asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” I attempted a grin, but I probably just looked gassy. I was pretty nervous.

“Let’s go!” Kelcey jumped into the chilly, clear water of Gull Lake and began swimming over to the tube.

Time to be a manly-man, Brian. Time to look manly. You can do this! Gotta impress her! My motivational thought-speech didn’t seem to be convincing my body, however, because I was still firmly planted on the boat.

“C’mon,” Kelcey called from the tube she was masterfully mounting. She’d obviously done this a lot. Quite a bit more often than I had.

Oh, what the hell. I thought to myself as I plunged into the water. I doggy paddled over to the tube and yanked myself up next to Kelcey in a manner much less graceful then her.

“We’re ready!” Kelcey called up to her aunt, the boat’s driver.

We are? I thought, grabbing hold of the tube’s handles for dear life.

Suddenly, the tube was being slowly pulled along the water’s surface. Before I knew what was happening, her aunt gunned it. Fear constricted my throat and nothing more than a croak escaped my lips while Kelcey hooted and hollered like a wild child. I’d like to think it was the fourth or fifth turn that I fell off…but I’m pretty sure it was just the first.

Even after several more attempts on the demon-tube, I still wasn’t able to generate a more definite grip. Kelcey seemed to be disappointed in my lack of masculinity.

Gotta be manly! Gotta impress her! I thought to myself as I recovered from another embarrassing wipeout. This next one! This next one I will stay on, no matter what! I took my place on the tube next to Kelcey and nodded that I was ready to go. The driver seemed to be trying to take it easy on me now, because it felt like we were going a little bit slower than the speed of light. Kelcey seemed pretty bored, though. I think she started filing her nails at one point.

Suddenly, the boat was turning.

I will stay on! I will not fall off! I will stay on! I thought to myself, steeling my grip on the tube’s handles while Kelcey started to take a quick catnap.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t my grip that I really needed to worry about…it was the rest of my body. The force from the turn sent me rolling into the water.

Do not let go! Do not let go! I gritted my teeth as I was dragged through the water, holding onto the tube for all I was worth.

And then…I felt my trunks get yanked off by the water.

Let go! Let go! Let go, you idiot! I quickly abandoned ship and began a fervent search for my swimsuit. The boat was slowly turning around and heading my way. If I didn’t find my trunks soon, Kelcey would be seeing more of my “manliness” then I ever had planned for this sunny, summer day.

Luckily, fate decided to have a little bit of mercy on me and I was able to find and don my trunks before Kelcey was close enough to see me.

I hate tubing, I thought to myself. I really do.

-Brian Wiegand (An Idiot, A Superman in training)

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One Response to “Ah, Tubing!”

  1. Krista Moon Says:

    Nice! Made me giggle out loud. I hate tubing too. 🙂


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